Children and Anger

According to LymannAbott, a person should not teach their children, not to get angry but instead tell them how to get angry.  This actually gives an important lesson when it comes to children and anger.  Even at a young age, children should be taught how to accurately express their emotions, particularly anger, because it is during this crucial time that they learn and whatever methods they use at this time will be the ones they will utilize in the future.

Education starts at home.Children should be taught about anger management through their primary role models, their parents.  Parents should get to know their children more so they will know what techniques to use.  These techniques can be useful when they, themselves, face stressful situations. 

Most experts have suggested that children and anger concepts should be taught before the child reaches adolescence for it to become more effective.  If the children are able to manage their anger before teenage years, their parents will gain the benefits of having a better and calmer environment as they grow older.

Parents should also put into mind that children spend about the same time understanding their selves and understanding the world they live in.  Children should be made to understand that anger is normal and just natural as an emotion, and that like all other emotions, be it joy, sorrow, love, or happiness, anger also needs to be effectively expressed.

In teaching children about anger management, the steps are practically the same with those of adults.  First, one has to let their kids know how it feels to be angry. One has to tell them about some physical cues one can observe during the early stages.  This also has to be in simple terms. For example, one can tell them that when one is angry there would be a fast breathing.  Furthermore, that anger can make one’s face red and that there would be tightening of the skin and tension in the muscles.  One can probably show them a picture as an example, or let them remember a certain character like the Incredible Hulk, who transforms when mad.

Second, one has to teach their kids how to shift focus and how to calm down.  Demonstrate to them how deep breathing is done.  After they learn this, tell them to breathe deeply for ten counts.  If they are extremely angry, tell them that they can either count some more, or count back to one.

Third, provide children with other alternatives.  If they have a difficult assignment, tell them to get help from you or from their teacher.  Alternatively, they could ask for a hug or give a hug to someone when they are angry.

Fourth, if they have difficulty expressing how they feel, give them some paper and pens.  They can just scribble down their emotions.  On the other hand, they could express it through a punch doll.

Finally, emphasize to the child that everybody gets angry, even you.   In this way, you become a good example.